Thursday, March 28, 2024

I Am Not Who I Used To Be

I used  to drink so much that when I finally didn’t, I didn't know how to do life without it. It was the biggest distraction from the buried pain and emotions I was running from, and the very thing keeping me from getting out. The moment I stopped running from everything and allowed God to do a work in me, was the moment I realized all I was doing was numbing. Numbing my way through life. Numbing my way through emotions, not even living at all, because I certainly wasn’t feeling. What I lived in was a constant state of distraction, regardless if I realized it or not.

Drinking might not be what I turn to today, but I am so aware of how my natural tendencies are to want to distract myself from my emotions, or go to God with them. It might be food, busyness, or even throwing myself into ministry or "good things", but at the end of it, it's all the same. I am running from God instead of running TO Him and allowing Him to help me to process what I am feeling.

I don't like who I become when I self-medicate or distract myself. I end up relying on SELF in those moments, and it separates me from Jesus, until it gets too unbearable and I find my way back. When I can address what the real issues are, and bring them to Him, He then helps me lift my eyes OFF of myself, and onto Him. He gives me HIS perspective, HIS guidance, HIS way of dealing with things. HIS way of healing. And friends, THAT is what changes things. That is what changes everything.

So maybe you are like me, and you tend to distract yourself when so much is happening. Maybe your eyes have come off of your Jesus, and you have become more comfortable sitting in the sin, or the hurt, or the confusion, and you don't want to even acknowledge what is happening. But friend, I can tell you this. When you drop all the SELF ways of doing things, or the old ways of running, and trust that God has a better way of dealing, you won't have to ever feel the separation from Him in your heart. You'll begin to go to Him, from the very start.

So let that start be today, friend. Lay down the distractions, go to Him, unload it all to Him, and then listen to ALL He has been wanting to say. Let today be your day. ❤️